Babyshowers at the Hellmouth
by Adele Elisabeth
Summary: Slightly AU. Angel, Cordy and Wes in Sunnydale, invited by Spike. The Scoobies are confronted by some odd new things. Better Summary inside. I hate summaries.
1. Chapter 1

Sequel to 'Did I miss something?'. Well, sorta.  
Pairing: A/C, duh. Die, Buffy...  
Feedback: Damn straight. Or else.  
Rating: PG13  
A/N: Probably totally fluffy, but that's just me.  
Rather AU. I've only seen every second episode of season one (damn NZ being behind you other countries in TV), so I don't know much.  
  
Summary/Intro: 2 years after 'Did I miss something?'.  
Angel shanshued, and the PTB have decided to make Angel and Cordy the proud parents of a blessed child, destined to do great things for the power of good (yada yada yada. Cordy stopped listening right after they said 'We're giving you a baby', coz she was so ecstatic). They've been invited to Sunnydale by Spike, the only one there who knows of the relationship (he attended the civil ceremony wedding). Spike claims it'll be a 'family' reunion, but Cordy knows he wants to mix things up in the Scoobies, and is all for it.  
  
Chapter One: Hello, Hellmouth  
  
"Aww, Angel," Cordy half-whined. "LA can live without us for a while. It's not like we'd be properly on holiday, anyhow. Sunnydale's the frickin' hellmouth!"  
'Hellmouth'. Angel pounced on the word. "You want to take out unborn baby to the hellmouth?"  
"I was born there." She said defiantly. "Bump'll be fine."  
Wesley poked his head around the door. "You two really need to think of names. You can't call it--"  
"Her." -Cordy.  
"Him." -Angel.  
"--'Bump' forever." Wesley finished.  
"We need a last name, too." Cordy put in. "I can't be 'Mrs Angel'."  
"I can't rember my last name." Angel mumbled.  
His very-pregnant wife and seer sniggered. "How about using your old first name? Liam. Angel and Cordelia Liam." She said it almost wistfully.   
"And Bump Liam." Wesley added.  
Angel was outnumbered. Cordy could outnumber him all on her own. "Mr and Mrs--"  
"Ms."  
"Mr and Ms Liam, then."  
  
The PTB had kindly made Cordy's visions pain-free, having decided that mind-numbing headaches could get in the way of parenting, or even indeirectly hurt baby ('Bump') in pregnancy. So when her vision struck, the only warning was "That is -ugly-" from aforementioned seer.   
"What is it?" Angel asked her, hurrying into the kitchen.  
"Big ass demon dude in Sunnydale. He was asking about us."  
"So we are going, after all."  
"You bet your unliving ass we are. And Wes."  
"I'm going to bet Wes?"  
"No, dumbass, he's coming too."  
"Yes, dear."  
  
"Hello, how can I help you?" the pleasant woman behind the counter at the hotel smiled at them.  
"Reservations for 'Liam'. Two rooms." Cordy took charge.  
"Yes, here are your keys. Have a nice day." The woman - namecard read 'Lizzie' - handed Cordy the keys.  
The young seer handed one set to Wesley, and the other to Angel, who was picking up their luggage. Wes carried his own.  
  
"Now, Wes wants some supplies - you know, light reading and recipe stuff - so you give me your credit card and I'll go down to the Magic Box. Might pick something up for me while I'm there." Cordy ordered.  
Angel handed her his wallet without a thought.   
  
"Cordelia!" Giles exclaimed when she walked in.  
"Just picking some stuff up. The usual. You know how it is." She turned on the 100-watt smile. "Got a list here somewhere."  
"You're pregnant." He stated.   
Cordy wore a pale yellow sundress and matching sandals, Bump clearly visible.  
"Married, too." She held up her hand, displaying a silver claddaugh ring on her wedding finger. "Just a little do, civil ceremony and all that."  
"The proud husband?" he asked, scanning her 'shopping list'.  
"Angel."  
There was a long silence.  
"What?" Buffy had overheard the last part as she walked in.  
  
"So you're Ms Liam?" Buffy asked finally.  
"Mmhmm." Cordy nodded.  
"And this is...?" she gestured to Bump (I'm getting used to calling her/him that).  
"Bump Liam. We haven't thought of names yet."  
"You're going to be a mom."  
"Mmhmm. Mommy Cora. Who'da thunkit?"  
"Who, indeed." Giles muttered.  
"Anyway, Angel's seriously overprotective, so unless I call him now, I better get my little self back to the hotel." She went to pick up the bags.  
"Here, let me." Buffy gave her an impression of a smile. "Pregnant women not supposed to pick up heavy things."  
"Erm, thanks." Cordy smiled.  
  
"Buffy helped me carry them to the car." Cordy said off-handedly as she took books out of bags.   
Angel stiffened. "Did she just?"  
"Yup. Should have seen her face when I introduced myself to Tara as Cordy Liam. Willow looked a bit shocked, too." She remarked, then rethought her statement. "Not very diplomatic, huh?"  
"Well," Angel started carefully, "You could have reworded that."  
Hazel eyes studied him worriedly. Despite the fact it was her who he married, who was carrying his baby and who he stayed with when he shanshued, Buffy had been his 'soul mate' and 'written in the frickin' stars love', and that was intimidating. "We should probably stop by after we see Spike, then."  
"Probably." He said evenly.   
"I'll call Buffy?"  
"You do that. I'll go talk to Wes."  
"Right."   
"Right."  
  
"This promises to be an...interesting time." Wesley commented.   
"Shut up, Wesley." Angel growled.  
"Shutting up."  
  
"Going to have dinner at the Summers, eh?" Spike looked speculatively at his guests. "That'll be worth seeing."  
"Call Buffy, see if you can come." Cordy suggested. "Someone's bound to appreciate your style of 'moral support'."  
"Cheerleader getting nervous?" the chipped-vampire suggested slyly.   
There was a growl from Angel. It started low and just kept going. Spike coughed.  
"Right, then. You meant that, Barbie?"  
"Sure. I know I'm going to get bored." She shrugged.   
Angel shot her a look, which she calmly ignored.  
  
There was an uneasy silence at the table.  
Well, there would have been, except Spike and Cordy were telling bad demon jokes at one end. All the Scoobies were there. Wes and Giles discussed watcher stuff, and the other Scoobies talked among themselves. Angel and Buffy were the silent ones.  
"...and all that slime totally ruined my favorite shirt," Cordy was telling Spike.  
"That was -my- shirt." Angel interrupted.  
"But it was -my- favorite and -I- was wearing it." She said evenly.  
Angel cast a 'why the hell me?' look at the ceiling.  
"You wearing the poof's clothes?" Spike wrinkled his nose. "Bizarre."  
"Yeah, and I've introduced him to this amazing new thing called 'colour'."  
Buffy stared.  
  
a/n: hey, not bad for a first chapter! I'm aware of how many other projects I have, but I tend to be writing a lot at a time...just don't expect anything to get finished soon. If you're one of my readers from A Summer of Secrets, I just haven't managed to get it uploaded yet, because I've lost it. But I do have the last three chapters, never fear. And to all reading this, REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW! 


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: is my name Joss? I think not.  
A/N: In reply to reviewers:  
I mentioned I have only seen every second episode of the first series. I have absolutely no idea who Fred is, and have only seen Gunn once. So it would be sort of difficult for me to write about them. If any kind person would like to send me some history on the aforementioned characters, I would be happy to oblige and put them in the story. I'd also like to know about this Lorne chap, too. (I've got the general gist of things from the fics I read, but some confirmation so I don't write the wrong things would help).  
Anya's there. As far as I'm concerned, she comes under the heading of 'Scoobies'. Just because I didn't mention her by name. Didn't mention Xander, either. Maybe he's not there. Maybe they all ran away. These characters just can't be trusted.  
Of course it's rushed. I'm an impatient person.  
Crude and bad language, yep, that sounds about right. Welcome to the world of 'deranged teen who is obsessed with writing and keeps on saying fudge'.   
You people like my story? You really do? Yay!!! **hugs to all her reviewers** I love you all! Except people who don't like it, but that's beside the point. I'm writing this one because I feel like it, and it's fun, which is why I write most of my stories, come to think of it. So it's nice to hear someone else enjoys it as much as I do.  
  
Babyshowers at the Hellmouth  
Chapter Two  
  
"So, you and Cordy are married." Xander said to Angel. They were all clustered around in the living room, various people making various chitchattiness.   
"Yes." Angel said, watching the aforementioned spouse, who sat with Dawn in the kitchen. (He was watching through the open doorway, clearly.)  
"Don't...you know, hurt her or anything." Xander coughed.   
"I won't."   
"Er...yeah, good."   
  
Cordy and Dawn were in the kitchen. Dawn sat on the bench, and Cordy was leaning on said bench while she waited for the microwave to finish heating up Angel's blood-with-cinnamon. Cordy was telling stories about what things they did in LA, and Dawn was listening avidly, giggling and ahh-ing in all the right places.  
"What does Angel look like in the morning? Or, evening, whatever. You know, when he's just got up. Tell me, Cordy, do vampire's have morning breath?" Dawn asked with mock-seriousness in her tone.  
The dark-haired mother-to-be sniggered. "Dragon breath." She confirmed. "And in the morning, I would say he looks great, but I'm biased. An objective observer would say he looks like anyone who has had their sleep interrupted constantly by their wife's odd cravings."   
"Odd cravings?"   
"Ketchup, mayo, and fries at 2 in the morning."  
"Whoa. He actually goes out and gets them?"   
"You bet your a--behind he does." She nodded.   
"So, Spike invited you guys to Sunnyhell?"  
"Yes he did. I personally think he's just trying to stir up trouble - Buffy can't be enjoying this much - but who was I to say know? Bump's gonna know her Uncle Spike, you know."  
"Bump?"  
"We haven't thought about a name yet. Angel still thinks she's gonna be a boy, but who is the seer in this family? Momma knows best."  
"Dawn's a good name."   
"Can you imagine if we named her Buffy?"  
There was a long silence.   
"Let's not and say we did." Dawn suggested.  
"I'm all for that. Got any other name ideas?"  
"How about...Odette?"  
"Too Swan Lake. Odile's a cool name, but Odette was a bit...overly perfect."  
"Guess so." Dawn racked her brains for a good name to suggest. She wanted to impress Cordy, because Cordy was cool, and nice, and Angel's wife. And Cordy didn't see her and think 'Hey look, key to hell'. "Antonina?"  
"I like that one. Toni or Nina for short. It's a good name." Cordy approved. Dawn glowed. "I'll put it top of the list when me and Angel start picking." She promised.  
"Cool!"  
  
Anya had worried a little bit about Xander seeing his ex - and, in truth, about her seeing his ex. It had been Cordelia's wish against Xander that had brought her here. But all her doubts were cast away when she saw the way Xander looked at aforementioned ex - just friendly. And Cordy responded in kind, glowing with happiness in her new family. Cordelia Liam was happy with what she had, she wasn't after what was Anya's.  
She smiled to herself.   
  
"So, poof's gone and found himself a wife." Spike commented to his grandsire, after Xander had wandered off to see Anya.  
Again with the growling. Spike backed off a bit.   
"Calm it down, Granpa. I'm not after her."  
"Did you want something, Spike?"   
"Well...I never did give you and the cheerleader a wedding present..." Spike shifted uncomfortably.  
Angel stared incredulously. "You're getting us a wedding present?"  
"Well, not exactly for you. More for the bit-to-be. Cheerleader's talking baby names with the Nibblet, you know. I thought the wee bit could use a decent cradle, and maybe something to...y'know, treasure in the later years and all that crap."  
"Cordy's going to be stunned."  
"Probably. I've already got it, too, so you can't say no. It's not like there's anyone else about with a baby."  
"Right."  
"I get to show your missus first, though," Spike added. "Once she's said yea or nay, then you see it."   
"Whatever you say, Spike."  
"And you don't tell the nibblet my poofy name, either."   
"What, William?"  
"That's the one. How many poofy names you think I have, anyway? Don't you go waving it around."  
"Your secret's safe with me, provided you don't tell Cordy that her decision to use my old first name as our last name is a bit...odd."  
Spike sniggered.  
  
When at last it was time to say goodbyes - Buffy had to patrol, Angel was going to patrol out of habit, Spike had gotten bored and it was getting late - Cordy was hugging people.  
People? She was hugging anyone who in arms-length and held still long enough.  
Angel was told it was her hormones, all over the place, she was really emotional. But it was still unnerving for Buffy, he knew, when she hugged her whenever she went past.  
  
"Cordy?" Angel whispered as he slipped back inside their hotel room later that night. Much later.  
"You're late." She accused, sitting up instantly. "You said you'd be back by an hour ago."  
"I got held up."  
"Could have called me."  
"With what?"  
"Your cellphone, dumbass. Unless your ass is staked - and I reserve that right for me and me alone if you go Angelus on us - you can still call me."  
"Yes, dear."  
"Don't 'Yes, dear' me, Angel Liam. I'm going back to sleep."  
And with that, she was out like a light. Angel sighed. It was going to be a long three months.  
  
***  
  
Okay, in the next chapter I'll bring in some ass-kicking and demons and crap like that. And call Angel a dumbass a few more times. And maybe with the Buffy bashing. If you hadn't noticed yet, I hate the little blonde slayer. If I get my hands on Spike, rest assured I will get my foot to his groin while lecturing him about the little necrophiliac slayer. (Really bad joke I found in a fanfic recently. Kinda true, too. Sick but true.)  
Also, she called her self Mrs Angel but Ms Liam because I am contrary. 


	3. Chapter 3

Okay, now, I'll point this out now (in response to the advice I was given in a review, not to BuffyBash too much because she's the slayer and all):  
Buffy irritates me. She's annoying, why the hell can't she stay bloody well dead? I don't like her. I like most of the other Scoobies (never really been that fond of Xander, though), but Ms Slayer gets on my nerves. So I'll BuffyBash all I like. Have a look at my other Angel-Buffy (crossover, not pairing) fic, 'Spike's got a...girlfriend?' to see a larger amount of BuffyBashing. In the six chapters (so far), I don't think I've missed an opportunity to harrass the annoyance that is the Slayer.  
Now that we've got that cleared up, let's get on with the story before I find something else to rant about, kay?  
Oh, wait, one last thing:  
I've never been quite sure, shanshu involves getting a heartbeat? I can never remember. So, as far as I'm concerned, it does, and if I'm wrong, someone correct me (I'll probably continue any old how, but it's nice to have the facts anyway).   
Hey, lookee, ANOTHER thing! I am going to introduce Niamh (an original character from my other story, Spike's got a...girlfriend?) into this story. She'll be mentioned in connection to a demon, and will probably turn up with said demon. Spike and Anya know her, just in case you were wondering. You probably weren't, but hey, I told ya anyhow. Niamh's fun.  
  
Chapter Three  
  
Cordy sat on the counter in the Magic Box, helping Anya count the day's profits. They were supposed to be researching, but after Anya dropped a book on her foot, she'd pouted, sulked, and dragged Cordy off to help her count money instead. Dawn was helping Giles (when she wasn't too grossed out by the books, that is).  
The others were out patrolling.  
  
"Angel! Look out!" Buffy shrieked [insert insulting simile here].  
Angel spun, ducked, and kicked upwards, wrenching the vampire's head backwards, with a sickening crack. Panting, he leapt upwards and drove a stake into aforementioned vampire's chest.  
Buffy didn't have time to congratulate him, she was too busy fighting, but Spike took a moment: "Haven't lost your touch, poof. Married life suits?"  
"Shut it, Spike," Buffy grated, raising her stake threateningly.   
Angel looked at her briefly, and Snape sniggered openly.  
"Two more heading your way, Slayer," Spike dutifully distracted her.   
  
Later, Cordy was tending to Angel's few wounds and Buffy was sulking. She'd moved on, of course she had. Riley, and Spike, and...yeah, she'd moved on. Completely. Totally. And it was great that Angel had moved on, too! Yeah. It was. Really it was.   
But did he have to move on with the former May Queen?   
Cordelia Chase. Why'd he have to go and 'move on' with her. Hell, he 'moved in' with her. Married. Baby on the way. And fighting demons in their spare time.  
It was sickening.   
Seriously.  
Like, get a room...  
...hey wait, they'd already done that. How nice.  
Yeurchk.  
  
"So, how's impending motherhood going?" Xander asked Cordy, genuinely curious. Cordy Liam wasn't the same girl as Cordelia Chase, he had decided. She had changed, dramatically, and it wasn't just 'impending motherhood'.  
"Pretty good. So, how's waiting for Anya to wake up and divorce you going?" There was no venom in her off-hand insult, it was just easy, familiar territory. They smiled, as if sharing a joke. Which, in a way, they were.  
"Pretty good." He matched her tone.   
"Don't want to hear about your sex life, either." She added. "Believe me, I've heard more than I ever needed to know from Anya."  
Xander flushed with embarrassment, and she laughed at him, patting him on the cheek. "Don't worry about it, dork."  
"Aye, aye, cap'n Cordy. Not worrying."  
"Cordy!" Angel called. "Need your help over here,"   
"What do I get out of it?" her tone was light, easy-breezy, teasing.   
"Cordelia..." Angel started to walk towards her.   
"I'm coming, I'm coming." She put her hands up in surrender. "Still, if you're wondering about what to get me for birthday, christmas, valentine's, or even a 'I-Love-You-Cordy' present, there's this really nice pendant and bracelet set I was looking at..."  
Xander watched the couple (now wasn't that a scary thought) as Angel steered Cordy back to the table where he, Giles and Wesley had been researching.   
  
"I want you to describe the demon for me, Cordelia." Giles instructed.   
"It was grey, and probably about 6 or 7 feet tall. Horny--"  
Giles looked sternly around before anyone could snigger,  
"--ridges for eyebrows and around it's head, sort of like when an almost-bald guy has a bald dome but not around the sides? Anyway, it was like that. And it had green eyes, no pupil, no whites, just green, and little holes where there should have been ears. Big naked dude - trust me, it was a dude - and it was heavily armed." Cordy finished her description.  
Giles and Wesley found two matches, and then let Cordy choose which one was right or not.   
"A Greeogh demon." Wesley announced.  
Anya looked interested. "I dated one of them, once. My friend Niamh had to give me a hand to get rid of him."  
"You know Niamh?" Now Spike was interested.   
"Hey, guys, catch up some other time." Cordy interrupted them. "Time to research and hunt little big bads."  
Spike fell - more or less - silent, and Anya shrugged, finding something else to captivate her attention.   
"What does a Greeogh demon do?" Angel asked.  
"What my socially-impaired husband means to ask is: how can we kill it?" Cordy translated.  
There were more than a few sniggers at this. Buffy glared openly at the dark-haired seer.   
Wesley coughed. "Fire and ice."  
Several people blinked.  
"Both at once?" Xander asked.  
"Well, yes."  
"Doesn't that defeat the purpose?" Was Buffy's input.  
"No, not really." Giles interjected. "What Wesley neglected to mention was that it is part of a spell. A fire-and-ice-ball."  
Wesley looked a bit abashed, but nobody was really paying much attention.   
"So, we make this little ice-y flame-y thingie and toss it at the demon and we're done? Right?" Xander looked hopefully at them.  
But Anya chose now to put in her two cents. "Don't you think we better ask him why he's here? Why he wants to know about you guys?"  
"Why?" chorused almost everyone.   
"Well, he might want to hire you. Or maybe he's curious about you guys. It could be anything. He doesn't -have- to be here to make trouble." Anya said reasonably.   
"She's got a point." Cordy agreed.   
  
***  
  
So, what will happen? Is the Greeogh demon here for good or ill, and is it the same one that Anya dated? (Hint: the answer to that question rhymes with Tess), and will this Niamh person be around too? (Hint: See previous hint).   
Should be fun. Well, for me and you lovely readers. Buffy probably won't enjoy it much...  
Toodles to yoodles,  
Adele Elisabeth 


	4. Chapter 4

[Disclaimer: Nope, I don't own this stuff. I've already pointed out why]  
Nope, nothing to say this time. Better just get on with the story, huh?  
  
Babyshowers at the Hellmouth  
Chapter Four  
by Adele Elisabeth  
  
"Greeogh," Niamh said patiently, "We're here to find out what's going on, check up on Spike and Angel--"  
"And Anya." The demon insisted.  
"Yes, and Anya, and then leave. We're not causing trouble, and we're -not- going to interfere in their lives." The slender siren ran a hand through her fiery red hair and sighed. Greeogh wasn't the easiest to deal with, but he had been helpful in tracking down old 'friends'.  
"I want to talk--"  
"Talking is bad. These people kill demons, remember?"  
"You're not a demon." Greeogh sounded almost accusing. "You talk to them."  
"I'm not a human, either, though." She pointed out. "Besides, are they really likely to trust someone who occasionally joined in on the little 'games' of Angelus and company?"   
"I suppose not." He allowed.  
"No, I suppose not too." She prodded him in the side. "We're going to...?"  
"Find out what's going on, help anonymously if we can, check up on Anya, Angel, and Spike, and then leave." He said it in a resigned tone.   
"No, you aren't."  
Niamh whirled, coming face-to-face with the slayer. "Who in the hell are you?" she demanded.  
"Buffy. And you're going to come and talk to us."  
"Says...?"  
"Says me. The Vampire Slayer." Buffy added for emphasis.  
"Oh. You're -her-." Niamh said with distaste.  
Buffy faltered. This wasn't how it was supposed to go. They were supposed to admit they were up to evil things, and she'd kill them. The redhead bimbo wasn't supposed to look at her like she was somehow offensive.  
"Her?"   
"Greeogh, you know what to do." Niamh said. Before Buffy had a chance to stop him, the demon swirled into nothing, and was gone. That left Niamh standing there, regarding the slayer with a look akin to disgust.   
"Who. Are. You." Buffy said it slowly, just in case the woman was 'slow'.  
"Out. Of. Your. League." Niamh mimicked Buffy's tone, and turned to walk away.   
Buffy grabbed her arm. Niamh stopped, turned back, and stared pointedly at the offending hand.   
"You're coming with me." Buffy said, but not with as much conviction as she would have liked.   
"Fine." Niamh replied, resigned. "But we go in my car, and you're sitting in the back."  
"Whatever."  
  
A few hours later - Niamh quite deliberately got lost - they pulled up outside the Magic Box. It was late at night, so Spike was standing outside, waiting for Buffy.  
His jaw dropped when the fiery-haired (and -tempered) woman got out of the car, followed by Buffy.  
"Aren't you going to say hello, Spike?"   
  
Half-an-hour later everyone was assembled in the Magic Box, and were waiting while Angel and Spike argued quietly.   
Finally, Giles interrupted. "Excuse me, but can you two argue later? And we'll get on with this?"  
They snarled at him in unison, and then shrugged.   
"Hello, Niamh." Angel said levelly. "What the hell are you doing here?"   
"Aren't we friendly today?" she mocked, and then grinned suddenly. "Interrogation. This is more familiar turf. You people had me worried there. I thought you were going to let Blondie handle it." She jerked a thumb at Buffy, who looked suitably offended.  
"Just answer the question." Spike told her.   
"Fine, fine. I'm just passing through, folks. Wanted to check up on my old friends, and see what was going on. I've been out of the loop, boys, and I was getting worried about you. Ran into Drusilla a while back, and she told me all sorts of interesting things." Her emerald green eyes glittered and she seemed to be addressing that to Spike, who winced.  
"What do you want, Niamh?" Angel sounded tired. Everyone else looked fascinated.  
"I wanted to find out if what she was saying was all accurate. You know, vampire-with-a-soul, vampire-with-a-chip - both in love with some slayer bimbo, that sort of thing."   
"I'm married to Cordelia." Angel told her. "Spike's the one who loves Buffy."  
It might have been their imagination, but did Niamh's demeanor suddenly get oh-so-slightly more hostile towards Buffy?  
"Oh yes, you got a pulse now." Niamh nodded pleasantly. "That's nice. Drusilla sends her love, Spike. And red-hot pokers, but she's a bit angry at you just now."  
"I'm still angry at -you-," Spike said grumpily.   
"It was 80 years ago, Spike. Get over it." Niamh grinned suddenly.   
Anya, who'd been distracted in the back room, had just come out to see Niamh. She launched herself across the room and hugged her. "Niamh!"   
"Hey, Anya, gotta breathe..." the redhead hugged her back, laughing lightly.   
"You haven't written in -ages-." The blonde ex-demon accused.   
Everyone in the room (including the vampire and ex-vampire) blinked.   
"I've been really busy, Anya. Greeogh says hi."   
Anya wrinkled her nose. "I'm engaged to Xander now."  
"We know. He's just mopey, so I figured letting him see you couldn't hurt."   
"Oh. That's okay then." Anya nodded brightly.   
"Let me get this straight," Buffy sounded pissed, "this chick here knew you guys when you were all evil, knew Anya, and yet we're not killing her? Why?"   
"Is she always like this?" Niamh asked Spike, curious. "First Drusilla, now her. What the hell passes for taste around here?"  
Spike coughed, and Cordy looked like she might crack up any minute now.   
Buffy looked about ready to explode.   
"Well, because Niamh's not exactly evil..." Angel started.  
"I'm not evil at all." Niamh protested. "I just happen to be more or less indifferent. And killing vampires isn't my thing, unless they offend me. I don't go out of my way, and the smart ones don't go out of theirs."   
"How's Annette?" Spike asked her.   
"Staked." The smalll woman's eyes betrayed pain for just an instant.   
"I'm so sorry to hear that." Spike murmured.   
"Someone staked Annette?" Anya looked startled. Truth be told, so did Angel. Everyone else just looked confused.  
"I'd rather not go through this in public, okay fellas?" Niamh gave a bright smile. "How about I just get to know everyone?"   
"I don't trust her." Buffy glared.   
"Honey, I was killing vampires before you were born."   
"Yeah, but you were sleeping with them too." Spike sniggered.  
"And she can take the moral highground on that...how?"   
  
"Niamh seems nice." Cordy told Angel as she brushed her hair out before they went to bed.  
"She is." Angel replied, unbuttoning his shirt.  
"Who's Annette?"   
"That, m'love, is a very, very long story, and it belongs entirely to Niamh, so I'll not risk her wrath by telling it, in case she'd rather keep it private." Angel replied, getting into bed.  
Cordy climbed in next to him and snuggled up. "What's between her and Spike, then?"  
"Not much for about 80 years. Brief fling, he pissed her off, she set fire to his trousers, haven't seen her since."  
"She looked awfully jealous of Buffy when you confirmed Spike was in love with the Slayer."   
"Well, apparently, from Niamh's perspective, it wasn't just a meaningless fling." Angel allowed.  
"I'm going to talk to her in the morning." Cordy decided.   
"Yes, dear."   
They drifted off to sleep.   
  
Niamh was staying with Spike, by general agreement. She got the bed, he got the couch.  
"Nia--"  
"No, no. You don't have to explain anything to -me-, Spike. I haven't seen you in 80 years." Her tone was deceptively mild.   
"You seem a bit upset about something." He observed, watching her. She'd not brought any clothes with her, having intended to just pass through Sunnydale and be gone before she had a chance to settle into a hotel room, so Spike had loaned her one of his shirts to wear to bed, and she was going to borrow some of Cordy's clothes tomorrow (he'd decided it wouldn't be wise to suggest borrowing from Buffy). Currently, she sat on his bed, wearing only his shirt and her knickers, quite unself-conscious. It wasn't like he hadn't seen her wearing less than that before.  
"Do I? I can't imagine why."  
"Really?"   
"Can you just leave it alone?" she glared at him.  
"First I'd like to know what 'it' is."   
"Tough luck, loverboy. Why don't you go play twenty questions with Blondie?"  
Suddenly it dawned on him what was pissing her off. "You're jealous."  
"Me? Jealous of -her-?" she snorted derisively. "You're barking up the wrong tree, my friend."   
"You are too."   
"Am not."  
"Are too."  
"Am not."  
"Are too."  
This continued for a while. Finally, Spike could take it no longer. "You were never jealous of Drusilla. Why Buffy?"  
"At least with Drusilla you showed you actually had some taste. Come on, Buffy's more Angel's type. Or Angel's old type. I like Cordelia." Niamh replied, finally admitting that maybe she was a bit jealous. Just a tiny, tiny bit.   
"Look, I gave up on having any chance with Buffy long ago."  
"If she had half a brain she'd have snapped you up the instant you showed any amount of interest." Niamh sniffed.  
"And you have half a brain?" He was toying with the idea of renewing their 'fling'. Niamh was fun, feisty, and she never beat him up to get answers out of him. Also, she'd frequently shown that she trusted him completely. Even when it was misplaced trust, but still.  
"I have a whole brain, thank you very much."  
"Is that so?"  
"It is indeed." She twirled a few flaming strands around her little finger, watching him warily. What was he playing at?  
"Well, I'm showing lots, and lots of interest..." he said suggestively. "Why aren't you snapping me up?"   
Spike grinned at her as she pounced on him.  
  
Buffy was sulking. -Again-.   
Spike and Niamh had arrived at the Magic Box the next evening, looking like the cats got the canary. Buffy had been convinced that Spike was head over heels in love with her still, but now she wasn't so sure. Particularly seeing as how Niamh was sitting in his lap and he had his chin on her shoulder, whispering things to her softly. Whatever he was whispering was illiciting naughty little giggles.  
Angel didn't look surprised, and Cordy looked oddly pleased about the arrangement. The others were alternately slightly confused and faintly amused.  
"Aren't you going to go patrolling?" Cordy asked Buffy pointedly. "After all, we've worked out who it was that was asking about people. And there's still big bads to be fought."   
Buffy glared at the brunette, grabbed a stake and stalked out the door.   
  
***  
  
There'll be more evilness, I promise. This is just the calm before the storm...  
I'm enjoying this story. It's funfun. I hope you like it as much as I do.  
Toodles to yoodles,  
Adele Elisabeth 


	5. Chapter 5

[Disclaimer: You know the drill]  
Now, I've given Niamh to Spike in order to make sure nobody's harboring hopes that I might actually relent and do something nice for Buffy - like giving her Spike. That and Niamh is one of my favorite characters (out of the ones I've made up). She's a lot of fun, really, and certainly deserves Spike more than Buffy does (or ever will). I like Drusilla more than I like Buffy. And why not. Buffy's a pain in the proverbial hindquarters.  
I'll have a little bit of a look at Niamh and Spike now, but this story is still more about Angel and Cordy than Spike and Niamh, so don't worry. They'll sort of fade into the background soon enough.   
  
Babyshowers at the Hellmouth  
Chapter Five  
by Adele Elisabeth  
  
It was sort of strange, Angel reflected. Niamh and Spike were a couple again, and they hadn't been a proper couple even when they were sleeping together, oh, 80 years ago or so. More than that even.  
There was a similarity between Spike and Niamh, and Angel and Cordy, he decided. And, oddly enough, Spike and Drusilla, and Angel and Buffy.  
For example, Niamh and Spike had been friends before they were lovers - like Angel and Cordy.  
And then, Spike and Drusilla had been lovers and never friends - like Angel and Buffy.   
So, Angel suspected Spike and Niamh's relationship had a lot more going for it than Spike and Drusilla ever did, and was far more likely to survive.  
Like Cordy and him.   
It wasn't that surprising of a revelation, really. Spike, despite all his bad habits, wasn't really that bad. Anymore.  
However, he didn't have much more time to ponder this train of thought, because Cordy was awake - at three in the bloody morning, no less - and wanting peanut butter on chocolate cake.   
Angel was convinced she only had these cravings to torment him.  
  
[[This bit isn't really that relevant to the story, you can skip it if you're not interested in Spike and Niamh's little relationship. It strikes me as ever so slightly marysue, and I wrote it, so there you go. I just reckon Spike deserves some goodness, and while Niamh is prepared to beat the crap out of him if need be, she's not going to do it just because, unlike someone we know **looks pointedly at Buffy** So, you can skip this if you want.]]  
Niamh rested comfortably in Spike's arms, watching a bad vampire movie. They found it oddly amusing.   
"What happened to Annette?" he asked suddenly.   
[Now, you may be wondering by this time who Annette was. So here's a little background information before we go any further:  
Annette was Niamh's half-sister, fifteen years older. But she didn't know about Niamh, because she was turned the night Niamh was born, and Niamh was the daughter of Annette's father and his mistress - a beautiful irish siren who didn't see the harm in being a rich man's mistress. Annette's new papa killed most of her family, and then the pair of them left. Niamh knew -of- her, but never knew her until 25 years later. Annette has no memory of the fifteen years she was alive, and Niamh didn't fill her in. Annette's 'papa' was a vampire who'd been James Wright in life, and then simply James in unlife, who was aware of the kinship between the two women. He managed to convince Niamh he was trustworthy, and they entered into a relationship, upon which Annette viewed her as a stepmother. Niamh already had a five year old daughter named Siobhan. James lost his place as trustworthy lover when he had Siobhan for a snack. He and Annette were driven away by a nearly mad with grief Niamh. She cut herself off from regular mortals, and about 90 years later, Annette turned up on her doorstep yet again. James was nowhere to be seen. Niamh didn't ask, Annette didn't tell. All the rest of her unlife, Annette referred to Niamh as Miss Mama, and Niamh never bothered to correct her, knowing that Annette would never have known her in life in any case - her father was a very, very discreet man. She remained with Niamh for the rest of her unlife, which came to an abrupt end 35 years ago. Back to the story]  
"A misunderstanding with a slayer, about 35 years ago. I was just a moment too late." She replied, staring resolutely at the tv-screen. "She wasn't even hunting anymore."   
"I'm sorry." Spike murmured.  
He had known Annette more through Drusilla than through Niamh, back then. Annette and Drusilla had been famous friends, both seeing the world in a different way than the others. A different way than each other, also. Annette had a child-like innocence in her wide, dark eyes, and had looked nothing like her half-sister. She had taken after her mother, and been a small, pale girl, with dark eyes and dark hair. She and Drusilla used to pretend they were sisters, and would have little tea parties. They would share secrets in the night, and giggle together. It was strange, Spike mused, that Annette retained such innocence, even after all the atrocities she had witnessed - had had a hand in, too. Niamh had never answered when he questioned her on it, either. Eventually, he'd decided she just didn't understand it any more than he did.  
"She was a child. A 365 year old child." Niamh's fists clenched involuntarily.  
"What did you do?"   
"Killed the slayer."  
"Niamh, you can't have...slayer strength, and everything. You're a siren. You sing, and all dance to your tune. But that's not physical strength."  
"I never said I went hand to hand with her, Spike. I sang her to sleep."  
"You killed a slayer in her sleep." He sounded slightly stunned.  
"Best time."   
"Isn't that...somehow wrong?"  
"Spike, killing a slayer at any time is probably wrong." She said it patiently, as if speaking to a particularly slow child.  
"You have a point there."  
"Naturally."  
"How'd you kill her?"  
"I slit her throat. Can we talk about something else?"   
"Just a few more questions?"  
"Fine."   
"Why did you come here? After all this time?"   
"You want me gone?"  
"No, don't be stupid. I just want to know what brought this on."  
"Honestly?"  
"Honestly."  
"I'm not telling." To be truthful, Niamh loved Spike (the Spike he was when she knew him, and the Spike she knew he could be - the one he was now) and had toyed with the idea of finding him again on and off for years. After Annette died, she had nothing left, and she'd roamed around the place aimlessly for most of the 35 years she'd been gone. And then she'd thought: I have nothing left to lose, why not go find Spike, and maybe even find out what this whole 'vampire with a soul' business is with Angelus? After all, what harm can it do?  
But all she knew now was that Spike wanted her back in his unlife, back in his bed. He hadn't said anything about her being in his heart - and, honestly, he'd never said anything of the sort the last time. Sometimes it's hard to let go of something you've never even had, but Niamh...she wasn't sure of what was going on between Spike and her.  
"Tell me." He insisted.  
"No."  
"Yes."  
"No."  
"Niamh, love--"  
He couldn't know how her heart soared just at hearing him call her that.  
"--why can't you tell me? You -used- to tell me everything." He gave her the kicked-puppy look that Angel pulled off so well, and that he was a bit of a novice at. Points for effort, though.  
"It's complicated."   
"What, so I get your body and not your heart?" he asked, looking offended.  
Niamh put her hand over his mouth. "Please, please, please be quiet. Also - since when does me not telling you things equate with me not 'giving you my heart'? And whoever mentioned hearts?"  
"You don't love me?"  
"You never said you love me." She pointed out. "Last I checked you were in love with the slayer."  
"I'm sleeping with you." His turn to make a point.  
"In the grand scheme of things, that really doesn't mean much."  
"It doesn't?"  
"Well, it means a little..." she conceded.  
Now why don't we let them sort out their relationship problems in private, after all, we're neglecting our stars...  
  
Cordy fretted. The only missing members of the odd assortment of people were Spike and Niamh, but that was understandable - it was day time. No, she was fretting because something was up. She was sure of it. It had been that first vision that brought them here to Sunnydale, but she was sure there was something else here for them to do. The Powers wouldn't have sent them to Sunnyhell just because Spike's old girlfriend was getting curious. They'd cleared up the fact that she was harmless - the way her and Spike were all over each other made it pretty obvious she wasn't here for a fight (snigger, snigger, wink, wink). She sighed.  
"Angel?" she asked.  
"Mmmm?" he looked up, question in his eyes.  
"What are we doing here? I mean, we can't just be here because Spike's old girlfriend - well, new girlfriend too - was nosing around. Something must be happening."   
"Cordelia has a point." Giles put in. "I couldn't help but overhear."  
"Vision!" Cordy shouted, suddenly. "Two vamps, tomorrow night. Meeting at the cemetery. I don't think it's just them that we should be worrying about, though." The very-pregnant seer frowned in concentration as images flooded her mind. "Drusilla's there," she said with surprise, "And Darla. They're up to something." Her expression grew afraid. "It's not good, and it's to do with Angel and me and Bump..."   
Cordy put a protective hand on her babybump, and Angel covered her hand with his. "Nobody's going to hurt you, Cordy." He promised.  
"They'll have to go through me, too." Wesley put in.   
"That shouldn't take them long." She sniped, but it was just the familiar sniping of family.   
Wesley gave her a mock-hurt look, and she smiled despite herself.   
"We should be preparing." Buffy cut through their talk. "Researching, too."  
"Researching what?" Cordy gave her an incredulous look. "We don't know what we're dealing with, so we can't research it. Seriously, I think Giles left out a whole lot in your slayer training."   
  
Cordy and Angel went for a walk and some ice-cream to take their minds off things. A teensy bit of normalcy every now and again never hurt.  
Of course, the fact they were discussing demons and whatever it was that might be after them sort of ruined it, but there you go.  
"It's bad, Angel. Very, very bad. They can't take my baby...we haven't even named her yet..." Cordy looked scared, and not without reason, either.  
"I told you, I'm not going to let anyone hurt you or -our- baby." He reminded her, as she thieved some of his ice-cream.  
"I know...still. Scary stuff."  
"Scary stuff." He agreed.  
  
***  
  
Is it just me, or are my chapters getting longer?  
Well, review! Bad things happen to people who don't review...**looks menacing** Okay, not really, but hohum.  
Toodles to yoodles,  
Adele Elisabeth 


	6. Chapter 6

[Disclaimer: Anything Joss created, I don't own. Gee, wow, I didn't know that...]  
  
Babyshowers at the Hellmouth  
Chapter 6  
by Adele Elisabeth  
  
"Thought of any names yet?" Niamh asked.   
She and Cordy had spent the better part of the day at the mall, and were now sitting in a little coffee shop, surrounded by their purchases. Cordy was having hot chocolate instead of coffee, being as how she wasn't too sure if she wanted her baby hyped up on caffeine ('Baby, caffeine, kicking, BAD' had been her hypothesis), but you get the general idea.  
"Not really. Angel's adamant that we're not naming him-her Bump, but I think I can slip it in as a middle name while he's not looking." Cordy replied confidently, grinning.  
"Aren't you wicked?" the redhead grinned back at her new-found friend. "Owen's a good name."  
"Angel almost suggested William, and then gagged when he remembered that was Spike's name."   
The pair giggled over their drinks, and the idiocy of menfolk.   
"We better be getting back to the Magic Box." Niamh didn't look too pleased - this had been a great day - but even she knew that Angel was a pain in the ass when he got worried - i.e. whenever Cordy was out of his sight for more than five minutes. She didn't want to subject anybody to that for -too- long.  
"Blaurgh. Don't think I don't know why." the seer warned as she stood up, gathering her bags.   
Niamh grinned. "Wouldn't dare."  
  
"Spike," Angel called. "Spike -- oh. There you are."   
The bleached-blonde vampire glared at his grandsire. A tad blearily.   
"Are you hungover?" Angel asked, suspicion etched in his handsome features.  
"Aren't you the observant one," Spike growled. "Remind me not to ever trust Niamh with alcohol."  
"Agreed." Angel - incidently probably the oldest living human, even if he had been technically dead for most of his life - tried not to snigger. "I seem to recall the last time you let her get you drunk..."  
Vivid images of finding himself naked except for a top hat in the middle of the city accosted Spike, and he glared anew. "Did you want something, or are you just here to piss me off?"  
"A little of both." Angel admitted, now blatantly grinning.   
"Get to the point, poof. My head's killing me."  
"My heart bleeds. And you're already dead."  
"Pedant."  
"Lover of sheep."  
"I never!"  
"Drusilla begs to differ."  
"Oh yes, and she's just the very best reference for an intelligible account of the facts..." Spike drawled sarcastically.   
"Get over your little hangover--"  
"It's a damn great hangover, I'll have you know."  
"--and get your arse to the Magic Box."  
"Isn't it still light out?"   
"You really aren't very observant, are you? Sun went down an hour ago."  
Spike grumbled his way to his feet. "I'm coming, I'm coming. And you're an arsehole."  
"Glad to be of service."  
  
***  
  
Aww, good ol' vampire bonding. And naked Spikey imagery.   
Gotta love being the author. **goes into a trance, picturing Spike nake--okay, let's not go there**  
I love all my readers, but -especially- my reviewers (an un-subtle hint)  
Adele Elisabeth 


	7. Chapter 7

Now that I'm not working on a million stories all at once - hey, wait, I am, but this is the main one - I'm devoting a little more time to my Angelfics. So, welcome to my crazy world and I hope you enjoy your stay.  
[Disclaimer: If Joss created it, I don't own it]  
  
Babyshowers at the Hellmouth  
Chapter Seven  
by Adele Elisabeth  
  
Spike entered the Magic Box, sullenly. Niamh's bright eyes sparkled with mischief, and she inquired innocently, "Feeling all right, Spike?"  
He glared at her, downing about seven painkillers.   
Buffy edged her way closer to Spike. She was having a hard time deciding who to be jealous of - Cordelia or Niamh. In the end, she'd decided Niamh. It wasn't like she could make Angel and Cordelia get a divorce or anything. She had a better chance with Spike.  
This did not go unnoticed, and Niamh reacted in her own special way. Spike had sat himself on the counter, and Niamh came and sat down on the other side of him, lying on her tummy with her head in his lap, propped up on her hands.   
Buffy glared.  
"Now," Giles started uncomfortably, "we think we have an idea of what's going on. Darla's found out about Angel and Cordelia's baby, and the reasons for it. Evidently, she thinks she can use it for her own purposes." He frowned. "You may not wish to hear this, Cordelia."  
Cordy took a deep breath, and Angel's arm tightened around her waist. "I'm staying." She stated firmly after a few moments of deliberation.  
"They plan to kidnap Cordelia, and keep her around until the baby is eating solids. After that, they'll kill her."   
Anger flared in Angel's eyes, and even Spike looked pretty pissed at the idea. He had begun to call Cordy 'Grandma' to piss her off, but it was an affectionate term. She took him seriously, didn't mind that he was a vampire, and had even been known recently to prepare him some blood. She was used to it, she told him, from making Angel's. Now that she didn't need to anymore, she sort of missed the routine.   
"Where'd you find all this out?" Wesley asked. He, too, looked angered by the idea, and had also just arrived. He'd been looking for information somewhere else.   
"Buffy captured one of the vampires, rather than staking it." Giles' expression was grim. "We staked it once it told us what we needed to know."  
"I don't care how you know, I want to know what else you know and what the hell we're doing about it." Cordy's voice was getting shrill.  
"We know also that they'll raise your child until he or she is 16, and then turn him or her. They plan to make the child of good into an evil to rival Angelus." Giles looked somber, and the mood was 'Let's go kill anything that would lay hands on Cordy'. Well, that was the mood from Angel, Spike, Niamh, and Wesley. Everyone else just looked generally pissed at the idea, not specifically worried about Cordy. Niamh had made friends with Cordy quickly, and therefore did not want anything happening to her.   
Buffy was filing her nails.   
  
They'd fortified the Magic Box with spells, and kept Cordy in the back, the training room. They'd curtained off an area for her, and there was a makeshift bed. The group took turns at keeping watch, while Buffy, Angel, Spike and Niamh went patrolling.   
Cordy came into the main area of the shop and eased into a seat at the table, next to Wesley.   
"Cordelia, you should be in the back." Wesley told her without looking up.  
"I know. And boredom's no excuse. So how about lonesomeness? I'm very lonesome back there. Nobody to talk to." She graced him with a hopeful smile. Once Angel had been bumped up to 'lover', Wesley had been given the title of 'best friend'. And it was well deserved, too. "Besides, the spells and all that are to protect the -whole shop-. You told me that."   
"So I did." Wesley sighed.   
"So I can stay here?"   
"All right." The ex-watcher gave in, and was pulled into an impulsive hug.   
"You're the best, Wes."  
  
***  
  
Next chapter, the kidnappers make an appearance...  
Will Cordy be kidnapped?  
Will Buffy ever get over herself?  
Will anyone give a shit if Buffy dies (again)?  
  
I'll love you forever if you review,  
Adele Elisabeth 


	8. Chapter 8

[Disclaimer: See previous chapter]  
Omg. I have no smart-ass remark about -anything-.   
**cries**  
**composes self**  
Read and review! **perkily**  
**not-so-perkily** Or else! **growls**  
  
Babyshowers at the Hellmouth  
Chapter Eight  
by Adele Elisabeth  
  
"Wesley! Angel! Buf--"  
Cordy was cut off by Darla's hand over her mouth. She bit down hard, but the aging (heheh) vampiress didn't seem to notice as she knocked the young seer out and dragged her out of the Magic Box.   
Wesley, Giles, Anya, Xander, Dawn, Willow and Tara were unconscious in the main area of the store. Angel, Buffy, Niamh and Spike hadn't arrived back from patrolling yet.  
Darla smiled.  
  
Angel paced. The woman he loved - and their unborn baby - was being held by vampires.  
Not just any vampires, either.  
Darla and Drusilla.  
So, mentally disturbed vampires as well. (Evil goes without saying)  
"We can't just sit here." Spike burst out. "Granma and the bit-to-be are--"  
"Spike." Niamh lay a hand on his arm as she saw Angel sink into a chair (going into brood-mode), "Don't."  
"Don't what? Be pissed off?" Spike turned on her, the full force of his anger in his eyes, staring straight at her.   
Cordy and Spike had become firm friends in the few days the Fang Gang had been there. She knew what it was like to be on the outside-looking-in. She'd been the 'spare part' of the Scoobies before. Like Anya, and like Tara. Cordy spoke her mind (as did Anya, but for different reasons) and Spike appreciated her honesty. It wasn't fair that something like this should happen to her. The Scoobies never appreciated Cordelia Chase, but she'd changed.  
No, no, that wasn't right. She'd grown.   
Cordy Liam wasn't the spoilt little rich girl that the Scoobies remembered. She didn't live for designer wear, and didn't exist only to make everyone else feel two inches high.   
And with all this information in mind, Spike glared at his fiery-haired lover.  
"You can be pissed off. I'm pissed off, too. But listen honey, we all know what's going on. Angel doesn't need to hear it a dozen goddamn times out of your big fucking mouth." Niamh's eyes flashed with ill-concealed fury.   
Spike shrank back in the face of -her- anger, and fell sullenly silent.   
Angel's eyes showed gratitude for the barest second.   
A silence fell over the room, the only noise the rain beating on the windows and Spike's pacing.  
  
"Can I...Spike, you're not going to like this...neither will Angel...or anyone, actually..." Niamh's broken sentences reached Spike as if they came from very far away, or through closed doors. The pair had retreated to his crypt, unsure of how they could help at all, just wanting to hide from the hurt, the pain.  
"Nee..." he started warningly, his arms tightening around her.  
"I-want-to-try-and-help-Drusilla." She said it very fast, before he could interrupt her.  
Spike frowned. "Help her...what do you mean?"  
"God, I don't want to kill Cordy, luv. Relax." Niamh replied, rolling her eyes. "You're reformed, aren't you? Why can't she?"  
"Well..."  
"You can't use her lack of sanity as a reason, either." She added. "If anything, it makes things easier."  
"You talk to Angel." He said finally.   
Niamh knew she'd won that little 'argument'. All she needed now was to convince Angel.  
  
Cordy awoke.  
She didn't know where she was, but it didn't seem like a place that could harbor evil. It was beautiful. Darkly coloured, but beautiful.   
There was a wardrobe of stunning gowns, and the entire room seemed to be something out of a dream.   
Except for the fact that there didn't seem to be a door or any windows. And rather than lights, there were candles.  
"Stepmummy is awake." Drusilla's musical voice met her ears, soft, dangerous in her seeming innocence. "She slept so long. Daddy will not be pleased with me, not at all. Grandmummy came and she made me, she made me. Steal away Daddy's Queen and her precious little one."  
Cordy shivered. Drusilla didn't -sound- terribly dangerous. That, she supposed, was what made her all the more.   
"Miss Edith told me about the bad little goldilocks that would hurt my precious boy, you know." Now Drusilla was in the room, standing by Cordy's bed - with no clues as to how she'd gotten there, either. "But she can't hurt him anymore. Sweet sister's stepmummy came, and she'll keep him safe."   
Cordy eyed the wistful vampiress, unsure of how to go about this. "You mean...Niamh?"  
"The beautiful Queen speaks." Drusilla sat down on the side of the bed, eyes wide with seeming innocence and a soft smile graced her features. "She's so pretty, so very pretty." The vampiress reached out and brushed the back of her hand against Cordy's cheek. "I like her hair. And she knows those in my heart."  
"Why have you brought me here?" Cordy asked, carefully. Darla, Darla was evil. But suddenly, Drusilla didn't seem to be. She seemed as though she was just lonely, just wanted a friend.   
"It's very bad. Little queen ought pay it no heed. She is above such naughty deeds." Drusilla told her importantly.   
"You can't be a good queen if you don't know what's going on, though." Cordy realised that speaking...normally would get her nowhere. As she tried to make sense of Drusilla's rambles, she had to...use them herself, she supposed. "I'm sure you would be a good queen."  
"I used to be a queen...my precious boy's special dark goddess. And then he loved the light...the hurt...the bad little slayer..." she trailed off, then shook her head. "Now he dances with fire. Once he loved the night, but he was coaxed away by cursed light...now he dances with fire." She nodded. "Fire is better than light. Closer to darkness, but creating a light of it's own..." again she trailed off. Cordy found herself growing fascinated by the tale the woman - vampiress - before her was spinning. "Now I am only a princess."  
"A princess by moonlight." Cordy murmured, caught up in the whirl of Drusilla's madness.   
"You know! You know much, you do. You see beyond...true vision..."  
"I was told you can too," she sat up further against the soft pillows, enraptured by her new 'friend'.   
Drusilla ignored the comment, and brushed her hand once more against Cordy's cheek. "You are a pretty bird in a gilded cage." She paused, and sighed with unneeded breath. "So am I."   
With that slightly ambiguous comment, Drusilla left the room - once more concealing how exactly she did that.  
Cordy leaned back against the pillows, mind working overtime.  
  
***  
  
I like Drusilla. Sue me. I didn't want to stake her, I didn't think she should be evil and get all the badness and hurt, so this is what I'm doing with her. :P  
  
Review. I mean it.   
  
Loveness,  
Adele Elisabeth 


	9. Chapter 9

[Disclaimer: See previous]  
By now you may be wondering about the title. Rest assured, there will be a babyshower. It's entirely possible the baby will already have been born, but there you go.   
  
Babyshowers at the Hellmouth  
Chapter 9  
by Adele Elisabeth  
  
Cordy groaned and rubbed her eyes blearily as she awoke once more to the odd room where night and day...weren't.   
Drusilla was curled up at the other end of the bed, still sleeping. She'd taken to staying with Cordy, as if afraid for her safety. She seemed convinced that something dreadful would happen if she weren't there to prevent it.   
After standing, Cordy yawned her way over to the wardrobe and shrugged on a silk dressing gown that she'd taken a fancy to. After pushing through the gowns, she'd found the door to a stunningly lavish and utterly dreamy bathroom. The bath was almost a swimming pool, and she and Drusilla had shared bubble-baths, enjoying one anothers company. It was odd, but Cordy was lonely and had - against her better judgement - befriended the vampiress.   
Of Darla, she saw nothing. Ever.  
Drusilla stirred, and sat up. "Her Majesty is awake, she is." She exclaimed happily, standing. "Shall we find her a pretty dress to wear? And we can take tea and biscuits, and it shall be a proper tea party." She clapped her hands together with a brilliant smile.   
"I think I'll just have a bath and go back to sleep, your Highness." Cordy yawned.  
"I shall go and see to it, for her Majesty. Queens are above such things."   
It seemed, at times, there were a lot of things in Drusilla's mind that queens were above. Just once she wished, just once, would Drusilla let her do -something- for herself.   
It was a ritual, now, that they took their bath and washed each other's hair. It made it easier, and Cordy had seen no harm in sharing secrets - silly secrets, the sort of slumber-party style secrets - with Drusilla, making them friends. Drusilla had changed her mind about 'stepmummy' and now she was 'dear sister'. Cordy wondered absently why she'd never made a friend like this before.   
"It's ready," Drusilla interrupted her thoughts. "All perfect. Grandmummy has shouted at me for befriending Daddy's queen. She called me wicked and dreadful and such awful names. Proper ladies shouldn't talk so, but I have long suspected her to be no lady at all." She nodded importantly as she unwound her long hair from it's elaborate style. Cordy was already slipping into the enormous tub. "She's wicked, she is. She stole away the queen. She told me her plan. I mustn't let it happen. Daddy and my precious boy would never forgive me, and I do so hate it when they're angry with me."  
"You just do your best," Cordy told her as she disappeared behind the bubbles for a moment. "I'll talk to them. They always listen to me."   
"They are wise to listen to their queen." Drusilla replied promptly, beaming at her. "Her vision shines."   
Cordy wasn't quite sure what that meant, but it didn't seem to matter much in any case.   
  
Angel stared incredulously at Niamh. "You want to what?"  
"Reform Drusilla." She repeated calmly.   
"That's insane." He snapped.   
"Been through that already, poof." Spike put in. "She's determined."  
"Look, Angel, you know Drusilla better than any of us. Do you think she could be reformed?" Niamh's eyes pleaded with him.  
There was a long silence as the ex-vampire struggled with the question. Finally, "Damn it, yes. She could."  
"There you go." She told him triumphantly. "If you say she can, then I -have- to try. Who knows, maybe Cordy's trying already."   
Niamh couldn't know how true that was.  
  
"-How- are we going to get her back? We don't know where in the hell she is, Giles." Angel paced. "She's not just my wife, she's my seer. She's the one who tells us where to go and when. Then we go kill things and come back to be patched up."   
Giles sighed, rubbing his temples. Buffy had been in briefly, then left to patrol. Spike and Niamh were patrolling too, but not with Buffy, at Niamh's request. Buffy's snide remark about 'private time' had been met with cold glares. Now was not the time for petty comments like that.   
"I don't know, Angel." He admitted. "We'll find her, though. We will."   
"We have to." 


	10. Chapter 10

[Disclaimer: Yada yada. See previous]  
Hey, lookie! Chapter ten. Wow. Trust me, when I started this, this wasn't what I was aiming for. My stories never end up how I planned them. It was supposed to be 'light hearted comedy' in which Cordy went and flaunted her new-found domestic bliss at Buffy, Spike found a girlfriend and everyone laughed at Buffy. Okay, maybe not -everyone-. But most of them.  
Notes to reviewers:  
Mrs O-Town: Hey! When are you going to update 'The Country Club Curse' and 'Mind/Body Co-ordination'?   
No, that's about all I have to say. So 'note to reviewer'.  
  
Babyshowers at the Hellmouth  
Chapter 10  
by Adele Elisabeth  
  
Darla glared at Angel. "Without me, you can't find your precious little wife." She snarled. "You wouldn't dare stake me."  
Buffy was filing her nails. Niamh quite purposely stood - stomped would be a better word - on her toes as she passed her. Calmly, the over 300 year young siren walked up and held the stake pointed directly at the blonde ('coughdyedcough') vampiress's heart, almost breaking the skin. "What say we kill you, call reinforcements, hunt down every vamp in Sunny-D and methodically check every place in this tiny little hell hole? What makes you think you're so indispensible?"  
Darla flinched. Niamh meant business, and her tone stated it. The two women - for lack of a better word - had never gotten along.   
Spike brightened. "That doesn't sound like a bad idea. Angel? It is your wife."   
All eyes were on the ex-vampire.   
"Darla has ten minutes to decide whether she's going to talk or not. If she doesn't, we kill her." He said it with clinical detatchment. "Niamh? Those reinforcements you mentioned? From where, exactly?"  
"I'm owed a couple hundred favors."   
"Get on it."   
"Getting on it."  
  
"Shit. This isn't a rescue operation. It's a fucking war!" Niamh burst out. Various 'creatures' had assembled in the cemetery, not particularly liking it, but were all here either because they owed Niamh, or owed someone who owed someone who owed someone who owed Niamh. Christ, that girl sure as hell got around.   
Greeogh had recruited some buddies, too.   
Spike ran a hand down her back, and put his chin on her shoulder. "Maybe."  
"Right. Let's get at it." She nodded, and sighed.  
  
Darla had chosen silence, convinced they were bluffing. She was staked without a second thought. The expression of pure surprise would not be easily forgotten.   
  
Drusilla sat up, startled. "Something is happening." She whispered, excitement evident in her tone. "The stars whisper sweeetly, they do. Lose the queen and you lose the game. Black knights ride with the shining ones..."   
Cordy struggled to wring coherent thought from Drusilla's words. "We're being rescued...?" The plural was automatic. She'd stopped thinking of Drusilla as an enemy, as a vampire. She was just another 'pretty bird in a gilded cage'. "Where is Darla - the old queen?" she queried.   
"Away...away...floating on the breeze. Dust to dust, ashes to ashes." Drusilla replied, oh-so-serious.  
"Darla's been staked? That either simplifies things, or complicates them." Cordy paced, one hand placed protectively on Bump, something that had become habitual. She paused. "Black knights ride with the shining ones? Who are the shining ones? And who, for that matter, are the black knights..." The questions weren't exactly addressed to Drusilla, they were more rhetorical.  
"All's fair in love and war, but nothing is fair when war is fought for love." The dark-haired vampiress shrugged.   
Cordy swore silently and wished that for once, Drusilla would stop talking in bloody riddles.  
  
***  
  
In the next chapter...stuff happens. 


	11. Chapter 11

[Disclaimer: If Joss created it, I don't own it]  
  
Babyshowers at the Hellmouth  
Chapter 11  
by Adele Elisabeth  
  
Note: You may be wondering how exactly the gang got hold of Darla. I'll tell you this and leave the rest to your imagination:  
It involved a strip club, Darla (clearly), and Wes. Of course everyone else, too, but mainly them. I know what happened, and if you ask me nicely I might tell you. It amused me.  
On to the story, then.  
  
"Track down every vampire you can find. Comb this excuse for a town." Niamh told the assembled demons. "Find Cordy and Drusilla - and Drusilla's to be taken alive as well." She added quickly, noting the several chagrined looks.   
Spike yelled from behind her, "As in, now."   
The demons moved out with few words. Most of them looked human enough - due to spells, shapeshifting, any number of reasons - but there were those that stuck out like a pissed off grizzly.   
  
Cordy paced. Drusilla had fallen asleep, and she was taking this quiet time to think and take stock. She hadn't come up with much so far.  
"Arrgh. This is completely absurd. I need to b--" she cut herself off when at the arrival of a vision. Demons of all shapes and sizes hunting vampires in Sunnyhell, taking orders from...hang on, Niamh and Spike? Cordy shook her head. This was bizarre. She watched, rapt, as they searched the city.  
"Black knights ride with the shining ones." She remembered Drusilla's cryptic words. "Whatdya know. She was right. In her way, anyhow. Weird much?"   
  
Angel whirled and staked a vampire that had been attempting to sneak up on him as he patrolled with Buffy. It had been decided that Spike and Niamh would take their little demon army around the area, since Angel might get a bit emotional. (Well, Spike said 'all poofy and broody', but it amounts to the same thing)   
"Good work there." Buffy commented, sidling closer to him as she kicked and staked a vampire. She made the eyes at him - y'know, those ones from way back when, the times when she and Angel would stare longingly at each other while everyone else gagged - I mean averted their eyes with faint embarrassment at seeing such a private moment. Ahem.  
Angel didn't seem notice, to the slayer's disappointment. (Nyah nyah)   
"They'll find her, Angel," Buffy tried to sound hopeful and uplifting, but it sounded false and oddly cheery even to her. She'd seen Cordelia' s abduction as a sign that she and Angel really were meant for one another. She just hoped the stupid ex-cheerleader would be her bitchy self, piss off the vampires and get herself killed.   
"Yes. They will." His tone, however, sounded final, as if he'd brook no more discussion.  
"If they don't you know--" she started, but he cut her off.  
"They. Will."  
  
***  
  
Okay, put in your review if you'd like to find out how they got hold of Darla, and if enough people ask, I'll put it up at the beginning of the next chapter. I was too lazy to think something up before, so I just had that they'd gotten Darla, but then when I decided to work out how they did it, I got a bit of 'divine inspiration' and I came up with...well, ask and you shall receive. Tee hee.  
In other words, review, damnit.  
Toodles to yoodles,  
Adele Elisabeth 


	12. Chapter 12

[Disclaimer: Joss owns what Joss made, Del owns what Del made]  
  
Oh, here's how they found Darla...it amused me, let's see if it amuses you.  
  
Wesley was moping. Cordelia being gone was just...well it was just plain -wrong-. Cordy was the one who refused to give up, refused to let anything get her down...refused to let anything get them down, either. She tried so hard to make everything perfect. She was the best friend anyone could ask for.  
So, her being gone and all, Wes was a bit depressed.   
Cordy would have prodded him and said something like "You going all broody on us, Wes? I thought that was Angel's job." And he'd have laughed, and she'd smile proudly.  
But this time there was no Cordy.  
So poor, mopy Wes went where thousands of guys every day go.   
To a strip club!  
Why the hell not. He felt useless back in the Magic Box - research was just not going to cut it here. They knew what they were dealing with. They just couldn't find it.   
Anyway, here he was, sitting in this strip club. It wasn't even a good one, either.   
  
[Backstage, stripper's dressing room]  
  
Darla yawned. She'd been getting bored, sitting around watching Drusilla and Cordelia. She'd also gotten hungry.  
So why not combine good eating with a little fun?  
She'd applied for the new stripper's job, and gotten it almost immediately. A dozen silly little plans formed in her mind...  
  
[Back to Wes]  
  
Growing bored, Wesley looked around. Then he spotted the next stripper up, waiting patiently by the dressing room door, watching the other performer with a smirk.  
Wes did a double take.  
Darla?  
Why, oh why, did these things happen to him? And the others. He couldn't even be a normal guy for a night without running into some hell-bound honey.   
Sighing, he reached for his cell-phone, just hoping Angel wouldn't ask too many questions.  
  
So, whaddya think? Do tell, do tell.   
  
Babyshowers at the Hellmouth  
Chapter 12  
by Adele Elisabeth  
  
Cordy shrieked as one of the walls exploded, throwing her and Drusilla to the ground.  
Spike and Angel stepped through the rubble calmly, as if they did this sort of thing every day (hey wait, they do), and Cordy struggled to her feet.   
"Don't do things like that. What if I've lost the baby because of this." Were the first word's out of Cordy's mouth. Then her mind caught up with her mouth. "Angel! Spike! Rescue at last! I told you they'd come, Drusilla," she crowed. "I told you! Didn't I tell you!"  
"The Queen is very wise." Drusilla nodded solemnly. Her eyes lit up when she caught sight of Spike, and then she faltered, remembering Niamh. She brightened. Niamh was nice. Niamh wouldn't let them hurt her. She was fairly sure Cordy would protect her too, but Niamh...she knew she could count on her.  
"You...made friends?" Angel raised an eyebrow.  
"She was just as much a victim as me. Well, okay, not quite as much. But there was definite victim-hood going on." Cordy nodded, after hurling herself into her husband's arms. "She's not so bad, once you get to know her."  
"We had a tea-party." Drusilla chimed in, smiling happily.   
"And who's to say blood can't be drunk out of a teapot, anyway?" Cordy added, good-naturedly. "I had tea, though."  
"A very soothing drink, for queens away from their knight."  
"What she said."  
Spike and Angel exchanged a look.  
Niamh would be insufferable for weeks, they just knew it. She always was when she was right and they were wrong.  
They groaned simulaneously.   
  
"We should throw a babyshower for Cordelia." Anya suggested the next day, once everyone was settled. She was talking to Niamh. "Not too expensive, mind you, but definitely presents. Babies need presents. And she has been through a lot. She deserves a celebration of some sort."  
"Brilliant idea, Anya." Niamh nodded. "Keep it secret?"  
"Surprise parties are the very best kind."  
  
The. End.  
  
***  
  
So, should I write a sequel? I was thinking of something along the lines of the chosen child's first day at school, the horrors of parenthood and introducing the poor little bugger to the extended family...oh, and we never found out whether it was a girl or a boy, anyway.   
If you think I should write a sequel, say so, and I need some help deciding if the sprog's a girl or a boy...  
Til next time,  
Adele Elisabeth 


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